Saturday, June 19, 2010

TELLING VINCE

Hi Everyone,
There have been a few very difficult things I have had to do in my life, this however, has been the most ugly awful thing yet. We brought Vince home from the hospital yesterday, the energy felt so wrong. Vince is so weak that it took me and two others to help him into the car. Driving to Vince's apt. was quiet and the air felt heavy. Getting him out of the car was even worse. After I got him into bed and knew he was sleeping I just lost it. My brother is so small that I can lift him with no trouble. When he woke he seemed edgy. He was upset that no one had told him what was going on. Mom and I sat on the couch Nicholas on a chair next to Vince. I took a huge deep breath and began telling Vince about the medicine changes, then the doctors we had to see in the next few weeks. Then I told him about how bad the cancer is and the two choices he has. By that time we were all crying. Vince looked up at me and with his big blue eyes told me he loved me. Then he said, "All of this because of a donated kidney." We talked off and on all day. It was a tough FRIGGIN day and night. Today Vince has had a good day. He has been making us laugh all day with his jokes and his funny faces. He also asked me for my cell phone and to dial Mike. Vince told him how much he loved him and he was sorry that I had to be away from him right now. That he didn't know what he would do if I was not here. Now I did not know all of this because Vince pointed his finger for me to leave the room. Mike told me later. Another funny memory. I still have no transport for Vince and it seems everything we try to do a door is slammed in our faces. What ever test this is suppose to be I wish the "powers that be" would let up on us.
Oh, Vince just asked what I was doing. I said, "Playing on my blog" He said, "Tell everyone I said hi and to keep praying for me." OK so that chocked me up. We celebrated Father's Day today in case Vince isn't as alert tomorrow.
All of you are a blessing to me. All the loving emails and comments really do help me. Thank You Thank You and Thank You again.

Honor and Integrity in Life in Art
Nicole/Beadwright

22 comments:

  1. Nicole, Please give your sweet brother a hug for me, and tell him how much I admire his courage and spirit. He is obviously the kind of person who is on this earth to inspire the rest of us to be a little better, a little stronger... A little more like him.
    You guys are firmly held in my heart, and I'm sending love and healing thoughts across the miles. I'm beyond sorry that you're going through this, and wish I could do something to help in a more practical way. Hang in there and don't let go of the possibility that something good - something that seems miraculous- can still happen here.

    Much love,
    Lindsay

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  2. Things don't get any realer than what you're all going through now. Blessings, comfort and strength to you all. I'm off now to light a virtual candle.

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  3. consider yourself enveloped in a big warm safe hug, and then pass it on to Vince. I'm sorry you all are having to go through this.

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  4. Hi Nicole. I'm so sorry about your brother Vince. I will pray for him and tell him I said hi back. :)You are very brave. Stay strong. Blessings.

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  5. pls tell Vince from me that he has prayers coming his way all the way from the Philippines.

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  6. Nicole, This has got to be rough. I only hope and pray that we don't have to go through this with my daughter (she has cancer) The best advice I can give and the three words that seem to work best for me is to ask you to "HANG IN THERE"

    Hugs,
    Cheryl

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  7. Its an unbelievable situation. Its hard to understand how this could happen. Its another story that you would read in the news of an ill person that needs help, but where does it come from.

    Please take your story to the news. In our area, there are so many people that offer help. Truely. You just don't know unless you try. You must go to the local TV station and ask to talk to a reporter and tell them this story and ask if they can help in any way with a human interest story or feature. Try the newspaper too. People have big hearts for someone in need of help.
    Much love to you and Vince and your entire family and friends.
    Carol

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  8. How sweet of Vince to "wave" hello to us out here in blog land. Yes, I'm sending my prayers to him...I can't believe all of this due to a donated kidney...who would have thought! Please keep us all updated on Vince's condition. His wanting to make you all smile & laugh with his jokes & faces reminds me of my own two brothers who would do anything to keep our spirits up. hugs to you, Nicole

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  9. Still praying and hoping! I am here when you need me!

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  10. Ahhh Miss Nicole...you poor sweet thing...no words can convey the sorrow I feel for you and your family. Vince calling your husband is just the kind of gesture I would expect..his heart is so loving. I can only hope Vince, you and the rest of your family can feel the prayers we all send to you daily. The art of encouraging one thru words has never been strong for me so just please know I am sending you and yours the biggest gentle hug! Hang in there sweetie, enjoy each moment for what it is for this is what you will hold dear later. Sending you our love, hope and prayers..Beth

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  11. My heart aches for you and your family, Nicole. I hope that you are able to maintain some sanity with your own health as you support your brother. Stress can be so dangerous with SLE.

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  12. At a time like this, all you can do is be supportive--you are a good sister. I'm keeping you all in my thoughts.

    Vince is one special person. Tell him Happy Father's Day for me and that I will keep him in my prayers.

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  13. Hugs to you all {{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}

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  14. Say hello to your incredible brother! He's that little light shining in the dark, telling us all to be a little stronger. And take care of yourself, too!

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  15. Nicole,
    I am thinking of you and sending you big hugs. Stay strong. I know you will.
    I miss you here in Florence.
    P.S. the sun is shining today.
    Kelly

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  16. You are in my thoughts and my prayers. Hang in there.

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  17. Thanks everyone! It was a day of emotions. I don't know how I would get through all of this with out the support of all of you. Thank you.
    Nicole

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  18. I'm so sorry your family is going through this, it's such an awful situation made worse by the fact that a donated kidney caused this. You are all in my thoughts, I don't pray much since I went through my Nan's long illness but I will pray for you, Vince & your family tonight.

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  19. Nicole, may God Bless your brother,you and your family and may all of you feel loving arms around you from all of us who care . I have been dealing with my daughter's meth addiction as she is slowly killing herself,unable or unwilling to change..even in jail as I write this,hoping after she "comes down" the psych hosp. will take her. Why your brother and your family are suffering through this,as my daughter chooses to destroy herself I don't know. I have been distraught and thought to myself.wait a minute Ann, Nicole has been dealing with so much as her beloved brother is so sick..Nicole,I am so sorry you are all going through this. My prayers will continue for all of you ..I don't pretend to understand why bad things happen to good people, I can only say that my heart,prayers and love goes out to all of you. I am going to share your brothers story with her when I can...maybe it will open her eyes to the fact that life is so precious!! Ann

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  20. Prayers for you Nicole ... and for Vince and the rest of the family.

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  21. Just here again to let you know you aren't going through this alone. You are on my mind and in my heart and tucked into my prayers......always.

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  22. Nicole, I'm sending lots and lots of healing energy your way and hoping you all find peace very soon. be well.

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